Lyrics:
The movie starts, “Sweet Emotion”‘s playing in the background,
kids are smoking weed with Slater, man he’s such a class clown,
all the cars are full of beer, Bacardi and liquor,
because tonight there is a giant house party at Pickford’s,
it’s the last day of school, Slater is trippin,
Tony had a weird dream and tells Mike he should listen,
in his dream he had a naked girl her boobies were decent,
but then the naked body’s head belonged to Abraham Lincoln, whoa,
Don gives Randal Pink a pledge sheet for football that says
he can’t do drugs while Benny’s making a paddle,
Jodi begs the guys to not hurt her brother Mitch Kramer
but they still plan to, damn they’re such assholes,
they breaking it down, for the football coach, “You have to use a substance?
Randal Pink you better be giving yourself an attitude adjustment,”
so they drive up to the middle school to make a big announcement
Mitchy Mitchty Mitchy do not run don’t think about it
Mitch asks the teacher if they can escape through the back
“50 going on a mission, 25 aint coming back,”
school is over but they’re gettng chased like fuck it lets be out,
Carl’s mom pulls out a gun “but miss there’s ruffians about,”
(“AIRRAID YOU FRESHMEN BITCHES!!!!”)
they’re smoking weed in Pickford’s room,
the beer man brought the kegs too soon,
the party’s canceled, ruining the plans that were in store,
cuz if you go to Pickford’s house and knock his dad answers the door,
Hitch is at his game hes pitchin and hes terrified
oh holy shit he looks up in the bleachers and right theres the guys
they catch him and the bend him over beat him til his fanny’s pink
now he can hardly walk and so he gets a ride from Randy Pink,
they pick him up later like he’s a foolish little kid
“you got a joint?” “no i do not,” “well it’d be cooler if you did”
alright alright alright, theres Wooderson hes such a crazy fool
they go to the emporium to meet some girls and play some pool
you leave the dance, you can’t come back
but fuck it those kids didn’t care
they wanna walk around a bit but Herschfelder was “gettin there”
now they’re gettin chased and they get licked by O’Bannon
wee wee wee squeeal like a pig oh my god they cannot stand him
now they’re breakin mailboxes with cans that’s meant for trash
get a gun pulled on em fuck this old man Pickford hit the gas
they get revenge on Obannon,with hardy laughter dude scours,
Wooderson plotted a beerbust, awesome party at the moon tower!
president George Washington was not a homosapien
ain’t you ever heard that song? the presidents were aliens
Mitch and Julie hit it off, theyre prolly gonna get it on,
the beer is flowin nicely then abruptly everything went wrong
smells like someone’s smokin reefer! i’m the one thats smokin reefer,
push him, sucker punch him, oopsie daisies put him in the sleeper
dominant alpha male mothafucker you fuckin disgust me i hate your guts,
he’s kickin his ass hes punchin and kickin and killin him til they break it up
god damn it, he’s lucky that he’s still alive,
stupid mothafucka had to ruin shit and kill the vibe,
the party’s over, keg is tapped, it’s get up in the car time
lets go smoke a joint right on the 50 fuckin yard line!
break down! giggling! party in the hot night!
mustve been too loud or something theres a fuckin cop light
cops are talkin shit like they can smell beer and smell smoke
randy floyd is gettin high well wait til i go tell coach!
coach comes, mad as hell, randy pink, let’s speak,
ditch your loser friends right now and sign your freakin pledge sheet,
sorry coach i got a speech for you it goes like this,
ya see i might play football in the fall but nope i wont sign this, peace!
mitch and julie making out until the sun rise,
mama grabs him by the ear you’reo ff the hook this one time,
mitchell are you drunk right now? heck no mom,
happy end mitch kramer goes to sleep with headphones on

Sorry if any of this is butchered. This is how I typed it out, but sometimes when recording things change. I also read Wooderson’s car description off of IMDB and don’t feel like pasting it right now because I am tired.